Paté and Heartbreak

Day 10 of 21

I wrote in three cafes today.  Some of it about love.  Sometimes thinking how happy I was to be sitting by myself at that very moment.  And then I would see couples, more than once.  In love.  Leaning into each other.  Whispering.  He kisses her hand.  It was so nice.  I felt longing.  Not for myself, but that things would work out for them.  Paris is funny. Paris is love.

I ate crepes at Breizh Cafe.
Eggs and jambon.
Chocolate, bananas and Chantilly cream.

I wrote a poem there.

And then I went to Musee Carnavalet and saw the Louis Vuitton exhibit. I feel like the bag I carry around all day is organized like an old Louis Vuitton trunk. My camera, my notebook, my travel journal. my regular journal, three paris guides, a mapbook, my glasses, my wallet, a bottle of water.

The exhibit was fantastic.
There was a trunk for Jeanne Lanvin for 36 pairs of her shoes. And a trunk for Damien Hirst’s surgical equipment. There were glass toiletry bottles from the 1930’s that you could still smell even though they were behind glass.

Then it was time to pick up my ring from Anjuna.

She was still working on the ring so she invited me down into her workshop. I asked her if I could take pictures of her and she very graciously said yes. Anjuna is such an original. I haven’t seen any work like hers. I love my ring. J’adore.

I decided to give the cafe next door to my apartment another chance after I had a crappy experience there last night. And boy am I glad. It was totally different. This time warm and cozy. And there was an acoustic quintet that started playing while I had my head down writing. I didn’t even notice them set up. And suddenly the place was filled with acoustic American big band style songs. It was incredible. Nowhere else to be. The perfect place to be.

Tomorrow: Maison Victor Hugo
I love walking to this song.  It’s on Colette’s compilation Colette 10.

Caribou- Odessa

Day 9 of 21

I visited the Institut du Monde Arabe today.  The building was designed by Jean Nouvel.  The exterior is made up of pieces that function like camera lenses.  They adjust throughout the day to keep the light inside always the same.  A lovely place.  Everything was in French, but I enjoyed the permanent exhibit nonetheless.  I recognized these words and more: oiseaux, chevaux, lamas, bijou, balances.   Two floors of exquisite pieces: scrolls with designs made up of tiny writing, translucent bottles for perfume, crowns, cuffs, compasses, mathematical squares, quran  covers and pockets….so many beautiful things.  It was a nice morning.

While I was walking in Saint Germaine afterwards, I yawned and my bad ear popped a little.  Thank goodness.  It’s the first time I’ve felt any kind of movement in that ear in over a week.  it was such a huge relief.  And it’s amazing because it happened as I was passing Dr. Milo’s office and I had only started the antibiotics and steroids a few hours before.  Hardcore.

In the afternoon I went to Cafe de Flore for lunch and to write.  I didn’t like it as much as Deux Maggots.  It was a little more uptight.  I sat between two old white men.  And all the waiters were grouchy-ish old white men.  Mine was not crazy about me.  I ordered a salad nicoise and a cafe au lait.  I also wrote a poem that I like very much.  The place gets points in my book just because of that.

From there, I did something I’ve always wanted to do.  I sought out Anjuna Bijou in the  11th arrondisement.

I was worried about communicating.  But it was Anjuna herself that was there and her English is awesome.  I told her that I saw a ring she made many years ago at Destination in the meatpacking district in New York.  We figured that it was almost a decade ago.  I told her that I always remembered her exquisite ring of the New York skyline and that I’ve trolled the internet looking for her since then and when I found her website I promised myself I would visit her shop if I was ever in Paris.

Anjuna is super cool.  Super warm.  She mostly makes jewelry based on artwork that graffitti artists give her.  We went back and forth for awhile.  I didn’t kow if I should get something made with my initials or name.  After I decided that I couldn’t afford it, I settled on a ring of the New York skyline which was already made.  How funny after all these years to come to Paris to buy a New York ring.

She has to resize it for me and I can pick it up tomorrow.  She said she’d sign it and she asked if I wanted her to tag it with my name.  I gave her a ‘Oui!’ and a thumbs up.  She said ‘a Dedication’.

I dig Anjuna.

Tomorrow:  I don’t know.

Day 8 of 21

I think today is a breakthrough day.

Andre, my subletter, came with his friend Linda to take me out for lunch this morning.  While they were at the apartment I asked him to help me make an appointment with a doctor.  Which he did.

With my appointment set for 5PM, they took me down the street for a fancy pizza lunch.  We ate and talked for three hours.  It was fantastique.  It was so awesome to hang out, talk, laugh, eat, drink real coffee, and eat delicious chocolate.

Having people to talk to kind of cracked something open for me.

After lunch they showed me that I could buy cigarettes anywhere with the sign ‘Tabac’.  And when Andre paid for lunch, he told me not to give him ‘sad dog eyes’ and that it was just money.

They left me with double kisses and I was on my way.

I made a Paris playlist for my iPod and I headed to Saint Germaine for my appointment with Dr. Milo.  I was an hour early, so I exchanged currency, bought a notebook and two pens.  Something’s changed.

Until today, hardly anyone has taken any notice of me in Paris.  With my glasses on and my nervousness, people overlook me like I’m not even there.  This afternoon, I didn’t wear my glasses and I listened to music while I walked and everything is different.  People see me.  It made me feel like I’d joined everyone in the real world.  I graduated to attending Paris.

I had two cafe au laits at Deux Maggots as I waited for my appointment.  It was so relaxing.  I could have sat there for hours. I wrote so much today. I wrote two poems and pages and pages in two different journals and I could have gone on and on…

but the time came for my appointment.

I was referred to this doctor by Mary.  And I think she’s kind of fancy because when Andre called for me, he asked on the side ‘is this Brad Pitt’s doctor??’ and then laughed.  Her place was definitely fancy with these paintings assessing you at angles.

So after an hour, Dr Milo saw me.  I’m totally crushing out on Dr. Milo.  Holy canoli.  She’s so French!  And I don’t even know what that means.  I felt like I was in a suspense movie starring Clive Owen.  Her office was perfect.  She asked me tons of questions and examined me thoroughly…and then she sat.  And thought.  And consulted her library.  And peered at me over her fancy glasses.  And clicked her tongue, and sighed.  And then explained everything clearly to me:

I’m sick.  And for the second time in two years, I could have hearing loss from an out of control ear infection.  So she took a very aggressive approach after consulting her colleague ENT…..and the result is that I’m totally crushing out Dr. Milo.

No macaroons or chocolate today.  But I did have chocolate cake for lunch.  I have no idea what tomorrow will be.  But I think I have things under control. See:

Day 7 of 21

I did it.  I went down into the metro this morning.

I expected it to be hard.  But somehow here in Paris, even though I expect the worst…it’s always somehow a little bit harder.

There were ticket machines with options in English but I still had to ask for help. The lady at the information desk told me that she only spoke a little English and that there was no such thing as a weekly pass–in response to me repeatedly meowing ‘WEEKLY PASS’.

She said what I wanted was a Visitors Passe.  She gave me a skeptical look and waved me back to the machines. I’m sure I looked disconsolate and slightly inept.

I only had 100 euro (the machine would only take small bills) and my credit card wouldn’t work.  So I had to go above ground, get change and regroup.  While I was home, I looked up tips for riding the Paris metro online and I found this: How to Ride the Paris Metro.

It was much more helpful than anything I’d read in guide books to that point.

I went back and purchased the Paris Visite Passe for 5 days.  The lady at the booth was surprised to see me because at least 40 minutes had passed since I first came to her. I could see her thinking to herself ‘was she at the machine this whole time???’

I showed her what I’d purchased and she gave me a big smile and said something that sounded like ‘good girl!’  Still smiling, she gave me a card holder with an ID number that I was to write my name on and keep.

After that,  everything about the metro is super easy!  So easy to get around.  Zones 1-3 cover central Paris.  The other zones are for the suburbs and places like Versailles. It’s easier than NY!

One thing that concerned me was that on the older trains you have to open the door yourself.  There’s a little handle and you have to flip it up if you want to get out at a stop.  I watched three people do it.  I don’t know what keeps someone from flipping that door open and pushing you out while the train is still moving…. but I digress….

My first stop was to try and see a doctor for my ear but that didn’t work out.

So I went to Deyrolle on Rue du Bac just down the street.  It was Amazing.  Kat told me about it before I came and she sent me this NYT article about Sofia Coppola’s favorite places in Paris including Deyrolle.  The second floor is where it’s at: it is FILLED with taxidermy.  You’re not allowed to take pictures (which stinks) but man, what a place.  There were huge animals like a baby giraffe, little groups of baby chicks in a cupboard, and in one corner on top of a cabinet– an arrangement of bunnies.  None of them looked unhappy.  Maybe they all died of natural causes.

A few blocks away, Le Bon Marche was open this time.  It reminded me of a Bendels crossed with a Bergdorfs except with all my favorite French perfumes.  It was nice but it doesn’t feel right being here and being in a giant department store.

Of all the perfumes I own, I have the most Serge Lutens.  I took the metro to visit the Lutens mecca at Palais Royal and of course it was closed.  But I encountered the garden which was very meditative in the mist.  Maybe it’s because I can’t hear out of one of my ears, but it really felt quieter than quiet today.  I spent alot of time trying to take a picture of the sun coming in and out of the mist.

I had set other goals for myself today.  One of which was to have a coffee alone at a cafe and write.  On my way to do that, I decided to look for the Louvre.  And boy did I find it.  I walked through a dark archway near the metro stop and once I came out the other end, there was the I.M. Pei pyramid.  Holy geez.  It kind of took my breath away because I wasn’t expecting it.  It was perfect.

I decided to go in just in case something happened and I couldn’t come back.  I had to of course see the Mona Lisa.  I figured even if I paid the 10 euros just to see her it would be worth it.  On the way to see her I bumped into this gal…

which was pretty cool but nothing compared to walking in and seeing the Mona Lisa.  Maybe it’s because I didn’t plan on it.  Or that I had no idea that I’d end up there.  I always took it for granted that I’d someday see the painting and that it would be something I’d cross off some art list in my head.  But when I turned the corner and caught a glimpse of her over all these clamoring picture takers, I gasped and I think I said to myself ‘there she is!’   It was like meeting a real person.  And you know, she looks like she’s waiting for you. And she looks like she totally has it under control–the digital photos, homeland security, social networking….she’s knows what’s up and she’s really kind of amazing.  I wonder what it’s like in there when no one else is around.  I bet it’s creepy if you’re in there alone with her.  Like you’d just fall to your knees and rip open your shirt and ask her to forgive your darkest desires…..

She was cool.

After all that I went home and did in fact go to a cafe by myself.  But I had a wine instead of a cafe au lait.  Still bad wine.  I don’t know what to do about that.  It makes me miss Terroir.

When I left the Louvre I saw these strange lights on a ferris wheel way in the distance.  I followed it for awhile but got tired and went home.

I’ve been seriously craving something sweet and any effort I’ve made to get some have somehow been thwarted.  So…

TOMORROW: Macaroons and Chocolate.

I’ve been staying up late on Skype.  I don’t go to sleep until 4AM or like this morning 5AM.  This morning I woke up not feeling well.  So along with the exploring the Metro I’m going to go find a doctor.  Luisa sent me images last night for our book.  I’d like to find a place to sit today and try to write for them.  My first cafe perhaps?

I had the strangest dreams last night.  I woke up around 7 AM and turned on the tv and all the lights.  Let’s just say a talking Jesus was what woke me up with a start.  Am I ok?

Tout va bien.

Day 6 of 21

I made it out of the apartment earlier than I have since I arrived here.  A whopping 2PM.  My ear is still bothering me.  But I had a great day.

I spent last night going through my guidebooks (which have way too much information btw).  I found a company that does city tours and I signed up for a gastronomy tour with Context Travel which I found through my Luxe Paris Guide. I thought that might help me get over being afraid to go in places and order things to eat.

I bookmarked Le Bon Marche (department store), Deyrolle (for taxidermy), and Pierre Herme (for macaroons) as places I would try to walk to today.  I made it to two of the three. Unfortunately Sunday is a day that most stores are closed.  So I walked along and around Boulevard Saint Germaine des Pres and observed all the fine shops even though they were fermee.

But I know how to get there now!  And I know how to get home from there!  Easily an hours walk.  But it was so lovely.  I felt to a certain degree, liberated.

I had read in a guide that the Winter sun in Paris is the prettiest light for the city.  Today I recognized that.  As I walked, I felt buoyed by the sun–following it all the way from the 4th to the 6th arrondisement.

Eating out at a restaurant or cafe has been like the elephant in the room for me.  If I could just conquer this fear, other things might come more easily.  So I finally did it.  I had dinner alone at 7:30 PM at Vins de Pyrenees.

Also, I realized yesterday that although my simple meals at home were satisfying me…. I hadn’t had greens or cooked meat in almost a week.

Previously, when I’ve tried to go into restaurants, I would linger out front, pacing back and forth, growing more and more timid.  As I approached the restaurant this time I told myself that I would just walk through the door without hesitation.  I thought of Caesar Millan and the idea of being calm and assertive.  My fear is behavioral.  I know I’m brave.  I know I’m competent. I had to just go in.

Which is what I did.  And it all went fine.  I barely said anything. I asked for a table “pour un” and the hostess immediately started speaking to me in English.  From then on I just pointed to what I wanted.

I had a huge plate of greens, steak tartare, and a bad glass of chardonnay.  Earlier I had downloaded Patricia Wells’ Food Glossary onto my phone.  A tip I had gotten from a forum I found when I looked up ‘eating alone in Paris’.  It came in handy because the whole menu was in French.  Despite the glossary I ended up ordering tartare because I recognized it as something I loved.  My meal came to 36 euros.  It would have been better for me to get some cooked meat.  But alas!

A first: I was very clearly able to ask ‘l’addition?‘ when the waiter came to clear my plate.  AND HE UNDERSTOOD ME.

I am happy.

Tomorrow: THE METRO.

The iPhone is kind of amazing for travel.  For example, at night I play Earworms Rapid French on my iPhone when I’m doing different things hoping that something will stick. I learned last night ‘Avez-vous un table pour un?’

I’ve already talked about how useful the offline maps on Time Out Paris are. I would not feel free to wander the city as I have the past two days without it.

And tonight at dinner, I read through Lonely Planet’s Paris guide which was incredibly informative.  For example it pointed out that the best exchange rate for dollars/euros is to be found at the post office.

Who knew?

Day 5 of 21

Still deaf in one ear.  There’s no change in my hearing.  It’s so weird.  Not one bit of change.

I got up late again.

Visited Ille Saint Louis this afternoon.  Mary said it’s where she likes to go for a stroll and contemplative time.  It was lovely.  I tried getting there without my glasses and ended up going SW when I should have been going NE.  Silly.

After I got my bearings I made it to Rue Saint Louis en I’lle without a map or my iPhone.  It was lovely.  Very small and quaint–places for lunch, a little butcher shop, a little cheese shop…

I took some pictures and even contemplated going into a little place for lunch.  But I’m not there yet.

A French boy came after me and started speaking in French.  I looked at him with what must have been alarm and he switched to English.  He said he wanted to tell me I was cute and would I like to have a coffee with him.  I laughed.  He continued on asking if I was a student.  I said I was here to be alone and write.  He said if I had a drink with him I’d write more…he was so bold as to suggest my writing would have more emotion.  I laughed some more and said ‘ok….goodbye!’ and as I walked away I tripped off the curb.  Very smooth.

How bizarre.  It seems unfathomable that people just walk up to each other and say ‘hi! i think you’re cute…wanna have coffee and talk?’ It just seems totally unsafe. Even if it were safe, I wouldn’t have gone.  He looked like the man version of Harry Potter.

Zut!

I just noticed that the stuff I’ve been shoveling into my face is fromage frais not yogurt…totally different from yogurt…more like soft cream cheese.

Day 4 of 21.

Things that I will remember for next time:

1. Do not come to Paris sick.

2. Buy a map that is in English and that I can understand.

3. Learn some French.

I got up this morning and I almost went back to sleep.  But I wrestled myself out the door and walked over to Colette in the 1er arrondissement.  I have, for a number of years now, wanted to visit Colette.   And right before I walked out the door I discovered that Time Out City guides made iPhone apps with location-based offline maps.  Very very useful.

So I walked for about an hour and the whole time I was keeping track of where I was with the app.  I kind of understand where I am in context to the rest of the city now.  I think I could find my way home on my own.  This is a great accomplishment seeing as the other night I exited the Monoprix a different way than I came in and I got totally turned around and disoriented. In my panic, I forgot my street address. And I was only two blocks away!  Sebastien laughed and laughed when I told him this.  But when he was done laughing he said on a serious note, I shouldn’t leave the apartment without my phone and my address written on a little piece of paper. Allors!

Colette was nice.  I found a perfume I liked called English Breakfast.  The store was really crowded so I only stayed a little while and headed back home.  I tried not to use the map and just go by feeling and it worked out ok.  I mean it was basically walking straight for an hour.

Mary told me that the local Fromagerie had artisanal yogurts in all kinds of flavors.  I, in an act of braveness, went in and bought peach and chestnut flavors.  I even got to say this for the very first time to the shop owner ‘je ne parle pas francais!’  I believe he said something like ‘that’s ok’.